This isn't easy to say...but I think it's time for a break. I'm seeing other people now. Real people.
You and I, we had our good times. We'd see each other several times a day. I'd stare at you for long stretches of time, sometimes hours, scrolling down your home screen, posting pictures, editing my profile. You would keep me updated about my friends, help me express myself in a way that required very little effort or creativity.
But recently, this relationship hasn't been working. I have to confess that I've been flirting with Twitter. Don't pretend like you didn't notice. And even though that relationship is going downhill as well, you and I both know it's time.
I've gotten tired of the way you make me feel like I'm neither here nor there. You tell me things I didn't want to know about my ex-girlfriends, you invite me to events on the other side of the country and encourage me to attend concerts in Philadelphia. I don't live in Philadelphia! You and I just aren't interested in the same things anymore. I mean, honestly, I don't give a #%@& about farm animals, mafias, or what kind of breakfast food I am.
Oh, sorry, please don't cry. This is really about me, not you. I just need some space, some time to figure out where I am in my life. You do help me keep in touch with my friends across the country. I'd have no idea what that guy I met once at a conference in Texas is doing if it weren't for you. But right now this relationship is distracting me from the rest of my life.
This isn't goodbye forever. We'll still be friends, maybe in a few weeks or months we'll start seeing each other every now and then. But, for now, please stop messaging me at work.